Stop! Don't Put that Spoon in your Mouth...if you're Eating Soup.
Guests sit quietly behind the person who brought them, diners use knifes as toothpicks, musicians who entertain the dinner party play unacknowledged, and all around the table a chorus of belches resound. Thankfully, dinner etiquette has advanced since Roman times. The first known etiquette book was written in 2400 B.C. by Ptah-hotep. The origins of today’s etiquette began in the French royal courts of the 1600’s and 1700’s. Under King Louis XIV, a placard (the word “etiquette” means placard or ticket) was devised and posted with rules for all to follow. Under his reign, royals did not work. It is believed that they followed the strict rules to alleviate boredom.
The first American rules of etiquette surfaced in George Washington’s Rules of Civility. However, it was the writings of Emily Post in 1922 that brought the issue of good manners to the attention of the American public.
Linda Benz, a staff member at Southern Illinois University, attended a Leadership Council meeting to inform students about the rules of etiquette. Linda, who works in the Office of Institutional Research and Studies, spoke to the attentive group on Wednesday, March 29. Leadership Council is a unique organization that encourages members to take more active roles in the community. Fifty members were accepted into Leadership council for the 2005-2006 academic year. Nearly forty were in attendance to listen to Linda’s speech.
She began by reminding students that “Manners are key to success in today’s world”. She gave an in-depth demonstration of a dinner place setting. She set the plates in the middle of the table. The knives, spoons and glasses were placed on her right. The forks, napkin and bread were on her left. The amount of cutlery on the table indicates how many courses will be served, according to Linda.



"Whether it is for business, or a family dinner, or even just with friends, practice great dinner etiquette always,” Linda told the group. She also stated that if a person is at a reception/social hour and no tables are available, he or she should only have a drink or food in their hand—never both. The person should always keep their right hand free and clean for the purpose of shaking hands. The guest should wait until everyone has been served before he or she begins to eat. Linda maintains that only two exceptions exist for this: if the host gives permission for guests to begin eating, or if it is a large dinner party and the guests nearest to the individual have all been served. Furthermore, Linda stated, the breadbasket, and other condiments are passed to the right. The salt and pepper are always passed together. Another lesser known rule of etiquette concerns soup. The individual needs to spoon soup away from him or her, bringing the spoon from the bowl to the mouth. While eating soup, the spoon is never inserted into the mouth. Instead, it is eaten from the side of the spoon. Linda also advised that food should always be tasted first before adding any seasonings. A big mistake that dinner guests partake in is adding salt or other condiments to an already salty food.
Linda Benz also had these words of advice: the formal dinner never begins before seven o'clock; the time usually is eight or eight-thirty. It is very rude for a guest to be late. Also be sure to arrive at least five minutes before the hour set for the dinner. If the guest will be late, he or she needs to telephone the host as soon as possible. “If the host has started the meal after having waited the required fifteen minutes, go to her, offer apologies, and take your place at the table as quickly as possible. The tardy guest begins with the course that is then being served” Linda said. It is also not necessary to remain more than 30 minutes after dinner is over.
“Always remember to put utensils on the plate with the fork and knife laid diagonally across the plate so the server can take it away,” Linda told Leadership Council. Any unused silverware is left on the table. Individuals must keep in mind that once silverware is used, it is not placed back on the table under any circumstances. At the end of the meal, the napkin is placed neatly on the right of the dinner plate. If someone has to leave the table before the meal is complete, he or she needs to place their napkin on their seat.
Linda provided rules that one should follow from the beginning of the meal to the end. She presented her information in an enthusiastic manner and was always willing to answer questions. Her presentation provided a great deal of information on the art of dinner etiquette.